the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize