Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
