we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
