You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
