I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
