"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
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