My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
