im having a threesome with these popsicles
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
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you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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