she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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