please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
