$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
