just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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