if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
