dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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