I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
