she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
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She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
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Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize