I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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