Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(217): View more from Illinois

she looks like luggage that fell from a plane

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(+44): View more from England

No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet

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(720): View more from Colorado

Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.

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(330): View more from Ohio

When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(781): View more from Massachusetts

I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.

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(613): View more from Ontario

Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"

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(206): View more from Washington

My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.

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