she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
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I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
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The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.