He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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