Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
