Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.

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  (703): No more parties with babies... I can't do that again. http://tfl.nu/7ry4
  Replies (10) Good night (765) Bad night (2882)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?

  (989): View more from Michigan

  By definition I think it does.

  (810): View more from Michigan

  So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.

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  (810): I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp? (989): By definition I think it does. (810): So this is what it feels like to be all that is man. http://tfl.nu/lu2t
  Replies (33) Good night (3795) Bad night (713)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs

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  (406): Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer. (1-406): Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs http://tfl.nu/ro47
  Replies (46) Good night (937) Bad night (4557)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.

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  (919): I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again. http://tfl.nu/8soy
  Replies (13) Good night (734) Bad night (2966)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.

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  (832): Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me. http://tfl.nu/ewf1
  Replies (26) Good night (4238) Bad night (1114)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.

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  (901): Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight. http://tfl.nu/5qmv
  Replies (12) Good night (4628) Bad night (639)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.

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  (856): Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen. http://tfl.nu/fxno
  Replies (33) Good night (1104) Bad night (8465)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life

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  (774): So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life http://tfl.nu/2cua
  Replies (27) Good night (6755) Bad night (1290)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.

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  (973): there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it. http://tfl.nu/9xxm
  Replies (8) Good night (2839) Bad night (1685)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?

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  (847): Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night? http://tfl.nu/owky
  Replies (3) Good night (3813) Bad night (934)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.

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  (602): I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during. http://tfl.nu/nbdy
  Replies (3) Good night (2128) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.

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  (734): I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued. http://tfl.nu/8osh
  Replies (8) Good night (1130) Bad night (345)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.

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  (727): Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning. http://tfl.nu/1b4x
  Replies (4) Good night (637) Bad night (275)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  It was so scary.

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  (405): I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out. (405): It was so scary. http://tfl.nu/0h8m
  Replies (4) Good night (963) Bad night (351)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"

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  (330): Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!" http://tfl.nu/2ydk
  Replies (2) Good night (567) Bad night (351)

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