you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY