Rock
Scissors
Fuck
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
