listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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