Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I would ride that face into the sunset
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
