Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
