How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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