I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
