I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
pray to the hookup gods
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
