Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
