Where is the hickey?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
