I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
