He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize