Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
