You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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