Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
