I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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