I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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