You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize