Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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