I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
it's like iHOP with fire
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
