If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Holy shit dude........stairs
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
