I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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