Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
