I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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