dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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