She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??