Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower