Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.

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(734): Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet. http://tfl.nu/i3tf

Replies (17) Good night (957) Bad night (2040)
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(323): View more from California

Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!

(206): View more from Washington

Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...

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(323): Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people! (206): Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003... http://tfl.nu/95ks

Replies (38) Good night (1036) Bad night (2445)
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(+32): View more from Belgium

this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk

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(+32): this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk http://tfl.nu/muj2

Replies (8) Good night (3160) Bad night (1075)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.

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(908): so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills. http://tfl.nu/ed0l

Replies (7) Good night (3196) Bad night (899)
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(417): View more from Missouri

When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.

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(417): When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion. http://tfl.nu/easp

Replies (10) Good night (5161) Bad night (1197)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...

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(847): I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest... http://tfl.nu/j6s5

Replies (6) Good night (2612) Bad night (832)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.

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(701): He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success. http://tfl.nu/xbmk

Replies (12) Good night (4703) Bad night (836)
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(316): View more from Kansas

You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.

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(316): You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are. http://tfl.nu/chox

Replies (23) Good night (1570) Bad night (665)
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(313): View more from Michigan

Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...

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(313): Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door... http://tfl.nu/qt3a

Replies (19) Good night (807) Bad night (2070)
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(518): View more from New York

Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.

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(518): Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you. http://tfl.nu/bm50

Replies (6) Good night (2140) Bad night (781)
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(319): View more from Iowa

WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER

(1-319): View more from Iowa

THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL

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(319): WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER (1-319): THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL http://tfl.nu/179q

Replies (12) Good night (3047) Bad night (598)
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(61): View more from Australia

Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair

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(61): Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair http://tfl.nu/j3o5

Replies (7) Good night (618) Bad night (446)
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(434): View more from Virginia

It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.

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(434): It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually. http://tfl.nu/a0fb

Replies (2) Good night (605) Bad night (369)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god

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(410): I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god http://tfl.nu/pepn

Replies (7) Good night (957) Bad night (546)
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(315): View more from New York

Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.

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(315): Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer. http://tfl.nu/5ks9

Replies (2) Good night (581) Bad night (325)

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