Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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