ADVERTISEMENT

• (815): View more from Illinois

  What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?

  Fav 34 2580 3355

  share tweet
  

• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.

  Fav 19 1300 3958

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (+65): View more from

  He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?

  Fav 55 7031 2542

  share tweet
  

• (252): View more from North Carolina

  Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning

  Fav 6 2333 1463

  share tweet
  
• 

  You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  "lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"

  Fav 16 7747 1313

  share tweet
  

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot

  Fav 2 2635 1128

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (850): View more from Florida

  If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.

  Fav 7 1987 746

  share tweet
  

• (478): View more from Georgia

  Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend

  Fav 4 1345 782

  share tweet
  

• (503): View more from Oregon

  I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.

  Fav 0 801 704

  share tweet
  
• 

  27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.

  Fav 5 1731 806

  share tweet
  

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon

  Fav 3 480 902

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...

  Fav 2 853 607

  share tweet
  

• (504): View more from Louisiana

  I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.

  Fav 1 487 611

  share tweet
  

• (804): View more from Virginia

  Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.

  Fav 3 303 484

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (540): View more from Virginia

  Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding

  Fav 1 422 467

  share tweet
  

Randomize