Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
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Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
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I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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