The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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