i may or may not be watching the land before time
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
