dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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