Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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