where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
