Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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