I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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