she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
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