It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
FUCK WHALES
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
