he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You've changed since you got that strap on
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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