I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
