I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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