My pussy is not your playground.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
