In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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