I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize