Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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