i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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