where am i from again
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
