A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
