idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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