Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
