its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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